Julie

I don't remember exactly when; it was before Galactic Voyager, but after Jane—I was feeling very emotional, for some reason, and I began to write a story about a pair if women, former ballet dancers, who found themselves on the run from a vengeful guy, who had dynamited one of their homes, just for taking in his pregnant wife, whom he had violently abused. 

I must have watched too many soap operas.  But I wanted to write a love story between two female ballet dancers; you can see the obvious implied eroticism.  I just stumbled on the file this afternoon!

As you know, I'm terrible at filling out an erotic story about two women.  But I think I could make something readable out of this; at least a short story. 

Kay.

This Blog

This blog is where I go when I want to comment on any of my stories.  Political commentary and current events go on the 'other side,' Don't Wait for The Movie.  I have two solutions I can think of. 

Move all writing-related blogposts to 'Helen' Blog.  Some of my readers are primarily interested in lesfic, and my comments about my own stories; they could simply head over here, and only visit the other one if there has been some really startling political development.  Language issues, such as punctuation, vocabulary, etc, could all be left on here.  Actually, I'll have to rethink that; it would be sad if only the president's foolishness ever got discussed on that side.  On the this side, I would put any posts about matters such as references to pets, for instance, in any of the stories. 

Compartmentalize the Blog.  I mean, leave the blogs as they are, but have departments in each one; a Current Events department, and LGBTQ department, a Fine Arts department, and Language department, and so on.  Most of that would really happen on the other side, which is sort of a 'Dear Diary' thing, anyway. 

I really don't need to fuss so much about it; but adopting one plan or the other would make it easier to do the actual blogging.  The readership of the Blog is about 25 readers per post, and it isn't clear that every visitor reads the whole post!

I'm going to try a sort of hybrid approach for a while.

Kay Hemlock Bonaventura Brown

Diabetes

I don't know whether Helen being diagnosed as diabetic (in Helen and Sharon) was a putoff, but I had been diagnosed as a mild diabetic just then, and I just couldn't help going that route in the story. 

The Galactic Voyager story features diabetes more centrally.  But, since my own diabetes was being managed just medically (which means with only pills, in this case), that's how I had Helen's condition also managed, because I didn't know any better.  After a few years, though, any diabetic (as far as I know now) has to go on to Insulin injections.  This didn't happen for Helen, so Helen's further diabetic adventures are a little implausible for anyone who is a diabetic, or who knows one!  Voyager is worth rewriting for that reason, but I'm not going to do it. 

Sheila

At one time, the story Helen and the Flowershop Girl was 'disappearing off the shelves!'  Earlier today, I just took a look at it; it really was charmingly written.  It seemed as if it was written by someone else!  (I seem to say that often.  I think I'm having a personality change; for some reason there's a discontinuity between the writing of my earlier self, and my writing now.  I don't want to guess why.  I'm just getting older, and that's my simplest assumption.)

Sheila—that's the name of the Flowershop girl—is real in a way none of the other characters in my books are real.  She's an old-fashioned dyke; that was a role that lesbians of that time took on.  They were very polite, but not warm, and not encouraging.  But Sheila was attracted to Helen, though she realized it was not possible.  It was too good to be true. 

Kay

'Deviant Art': an Online Gallery

Why do I torture myself?  Once again, I headed out to DA out of sheer boredom, and the ultra-feminine models there left me frustrated!

I've written before that ultra-feminine women / girls are what I go for.  But, realistically, an ultra-feminine girl could be a lot of fun if you go out to a meal, but once that's over—I'm not   talking about sex; I'm talking about a story, an adventure, being chased by the bad guys—I can't imagine the girl holding up her end in a dangerous situation. 

You know, though, I think I could imagine that.  Unfortunately, it would be no different from a story with a tough guy—that would be me, now, unfortunately—and a swooning female.  But I can even imagine her not being the swoony type. 

Most of the women on DA are feminine, but sort of frilly and fussy.  (Presumably the guys on DA like the frilly, fussy type of girl.)  You can't imagine them grabbing the gun and saying, "I'll look after this side; you keep an eye on the street."

Man, I'm getting ideas for an action story!

Well, anyway—

See you later ...

Kay

A New Purpose

It's strange.  Most of the time, I shrink from revealing too much of my thoughts.  But sometimes I need very much to share; but to only a small audience.  It struck me that, now that the Helen saga was decently concluded, the number of readers checking out this blog will be reduced, so I can tell things to this blog—you know what I mean—and reach a smaller audience just like I would prefer!  So the topics of these posts are not going to be exclusively about Helen in the future. 

This is actually the 'younger' blog; the earliest post dates from almost a year after the earliest post on the Don't Wait For the Movie blog.  I created it for the purpose of writing about Helen, which had a lot of sex in it, initially.  I also wanted to discuss how to tone it down.  Actually, the relationship between Helen—who was less than 16 years old at the time—and Janet, who was in her mid 20s, and a college graduate, was highly inappropriate, but even more, writing fiction about it would have been in very poor taste, so I ripped out huge chunks of the story to sanitize it.  It must seem as though Helen's feelings for Janet is/was mere infatuation, but they had a full on sexual relationship for close to a year.  But then Helen had sexual relationship with practically anyone who asked her in her first two years of college, until she fell seriously in love with Lalitha.

Well, anyway ...

What brings on this strange desire for sharing, you might ask?

It's actually quite (innocent).  I was pondering on what sort of girl/woman I would model my ideal woman—a subject that is very personal indeed.  In earlier years, my image of a perfect girl was—let's face it—a somewhat sexual one!  This is why, I think, Helen was created.  Helen was the image of the girl I wanted, as well as of the girl I wanted to be.  I wanted to be all those things: a blonde, with long, curly hair; thin and delicate (which I already was); a good guitarist—I'm fair; she was to have a beautiful 'white' soprano voice, which is not how I'd describe my voice, but I have a good choir alto; athletic, and a good tennis player, I'm barely athletic, and a hopeless tennis player.

She was to like little kids, and to be good at minding them; I'm sort of okay there.  She was to learn specialized woodworking very fast; I don't know, I've never tried it.  She can dance ballet; I just know the basics. 

As I described Helen in her twenties and thirties, our differences took over, and I will never resemble her.  She has already stopped being the sort of woman I could go for; her second amnesia put the last nail in her coffin, though I was still able to write about her sympathetically.  A lot of her character and personality had been passed on to the children, principally Erin and James.  Not intentionally, but unplanned. 

Just this morning, I saw a sort of PSA about caring for dogs by Katherine Heigl.  She seems genuine in her interest in the welfare of dogs 🐕, though I'm more a cat person myself. 

When I first encountered her, she seemed very German.  At that time, I had a close affinity to the people, the language and the culture of Germany.  It turns out, Katie Heigl is thoroughly American, though these days that is not a complete unqualified endorsement of her.  I must be getting old, because I thought she gave out a no-nonsense, but motherly vibe, which I found very attractive!  In the past, 'my type' has been women like Olivia Newton-John, Emma Watson, Naomi Watts, and various other ultra- feminine women, but perhaps more athletically built.  Keira Knightley?  Too thin.  Actually, I was crazy about Elizabeth Hurley, and still am!

There now.  I had promised myself I wouldn't gush about my crushes, and here I am ...

As far as guys go: I admire Obama, and that's about it. 

Kay 

Just Keeping in Touch!

Well, it's getting warmer in our part of the world; crocuses are popping up, grass is greening, there are buds on the trees!  We used to have a real winter, but now we're inflicted with this fake winter, with just a little snow, making a nuisance of itself!

Just as it is hard to remember the beautiful winters of years gone by, it's hard to remember a time when people celebrated diversity, and were generous towards people who were poor, and soup kitchens and food pantries were supported with enthusiasm!  Elon Musk has said that empathy is a weakness of civilization.  From where does he get this nonsense?  That sort of sentiment will probably not resonate with a lot of people; we've progressed too far for people to feel right about dumping on the unfortunates.  [Musk himself must feel constrained by social expectations from the 'richest man in the world'!  When he does what he wants, like an overgrown kid, he feels the disapproval of the community, and he's unhappy!  He longs for a society that will cheer him on, when he grinds the poor and helpless under his heel.  In Trump, he must have thought he has found such a person.  Trump would consider the poor and helpless 'Losers' and worthy of destroying.]

I'm reading Concerto, and I described Sita, Trish, and Maryssa as generous and kindhearted.  Back then I found it difficult to write about crude, cynical, cruel characters.  I guess that's a weakness.  I'm a Loser, according to the Trump classification!  All LGBTQ are 'Losers.'  I guess I'm saying that I write about soft-hearted, generous people. 

Kay